Rule No. 4: It's good take a leap now and then...nothing ventured nothing gained

It's amazing what happens to one's psyche when a good thing happens (and unexpected).  My heart flutters and the teenage girl inside me does back flips.  She glows with excitement.  But then there's the mind that tries to subdue this happy teenager.

So I'm preparing for this long winter's nap but a co-worker suggested I reach out to this guy.  The guy whose profile popped up on Match.  The one I thought was just a profile....and while something good has happened, I must remind myself it IS, after all, still a profile.  Needless to say, it was a pleasant surprise when he responded.  And it wasn't some cheesy line.  So, this co-worker suggested that I write back.  Well, this banter goes back and forth a few times and then he agrees it would be great to catch up.  Friends....my mind tells me.  But the high school girl inside is ecstatic!

Lunch was great and so was the talk afterward at my house.  That's where we had left off in the summer when he decided he "needed to see" if there was anything to an old love interest.  He wanted to "see who I was."  I was not expecting to hear what he said in the moments there are my couch.  But I was listening to him say these things.....things I had only thought of.  Wished for.  My heart melted. Here was this guy who I really like(d) and just knew he would pop up again.  Who would have thought it would be on Match!?  Apologies for the way things ended in the summer.....how he handled it.  My heart fluttered as if it had wings.  Hearing him say he was glad I reached out to him these last weeks brought a smile to my lips.  I must say it was the best Christmas present I've received in a long time.

What I had wished for, hoped for, thought about had happened!  I saw us together and here he was, in my living room, admitting he thought about me.  Thought about my story, what I had accomplished, how amazing that was, and the fact I cooked for him.  He opened up telling me about the love interest he chose over me.  And that when she told him it wasn't what she wanted and how she just left, he was stunned, but was done.  In a playful way, I asked if there were any other old love interests in the wings.  No.

And while I would LOVE to scratch with the plans of the long winter's nap, my mind (and friends) cautiously encourage (okay, warn or suggest) me to not abandon such plans just yet.   I could actually use the time to organize my kitchen.  After all, whatever plans he made and I made were before we got together again.

In the past, I have been skeptical of God's timing.   When it comes to matters of the heart, I can be quite impatient.  I guess I've always expected my love life to happen as the fair tales.  My friends can tell me time and time again it doesn't happen that way, and yet I still wish.  

And this could all be a dream!  Only time will tell.....oh gosh I sound like my friends!!

Kiss someone for me Saturday night!

Christina
This girl is dating........and afraid! 

Rule No. 55: Sometimes a long winter's nap does one good

It's inevitable.  I've been prepping for it like a winter storm.  You know the ones Houstonians thrive on even it's just chatter among the weather enthusiasts and meteorologists.  But doing some mindless research for this blog, I realize everyone has experienced a dry spell a time or two.  I'm sure worries of a Meals on Wheels volunteer discovering a lonely body has crossed minds now and again.  And like a thunderstorm ends, so will a dry spell.  Mine may be come Spring, but I have to have faith it will end.  

I had hoped the last date for some time would have been a good one.  But I think I wrote about it last time.....can you say awkward?  And the profile of the man I dated during the summer I saw on Match was just that....a profile.  He probably wasn't that good of a catch anyway. That's what I'm telling myself.  At first the fact that he "viewed" my profile and didn't even reach out hurt a little, but I got over it.  

I'm planning my New Year's Eve and this year I will be spending it at home, organizing my kitchen, cleaning cabinets, etc.  I've gone out the last two years and to be honest it wasn't what I expected. The first year all I did was sit at a bar, drank champagne from a plastic cup, and ate cold tater tots and bacon from the illicit "expansive midnight buffet."  Last year it was a little better, but again, stood on the sidelines and watched other girls get asked by guys to dance.  What fun is that!?

Maybe a long winter's nap is what I need.  A "man-cation."  I have had little to no interest from those on Match, let alone just in my own surroundings. I go out with friends and no approaches me.  I've had a couple that "want to keep in touch and learn about me" even go as far to exchange numbers. What good is having a number if you're not going to use it or chase after it?  Dating in my 40s I've come to realize is probably a lot harder than it was in our 20s.  Tell me, are the men scared or do they just not know what they want?

Besides, the endless "me time" might do me some good.  I can do whatever I want.  Although I tried that once and the online dating world always seemed to suck me right back in.  Not this time.  I've been creating a list of things I want to do in 2017.  Surprisingly "meet a man" is not on it.  Take a cooking lesson is.  Try my skills at a pole dancing class is.  Finally make my vision of a new bedroom come to life.  As turning my spare bedroom into a dressing room....with pink and black.

Of course, as you know, once I'm settled in for this long winter's nap (and I mean long), that's when someone will drop down in front of me.  Appear in my life for a reason.  That remains to be seen.

Y'all have a great Christmas and a fantastical Happy New Year!!  I'll toot my horn in my pjs while watching Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve.  Oh, do they still have that?!

This is Christina.........and as always, I'm dating and afraid!

Rule No. 10: Signs come in all forms and sometimes they are just profiles on Match.com

I decided to go off the Facebook grid for a while.  A time to step back and focus on life without checking in with my every thought, every event of my life.  A time to be away from daily reminders of what doesn't seem to be happening right now.  I deserve it just like everyone else on social media is broadcasting about it.  I was "unfollowing" those that seem to post that "in a relationship" announcement but realized if I kept doing that, then I would end up with no one to follow,  Thus the reason to just go off the grid.

I tried a stint on Zoosk, OK Cupid, and I think Plenty of Fish, although after a while they all roll into one and are quite similar.  I eventually deleted accounts on those sites.  I was on Match for a few months and of course the service wants a paid subscription to see the 74 emails I received.  So pay I did only to delete half of the emails.........from the undesirables.  Ones that aren't my type, out of state, too old, too young.  Men that say they want to know more, possibly get to know me.  But run with their tail between their legs when I actually think they are serious.  I think the same men make the rounds on all the sites.  I recently had a date that turned out to be awkward that I was home by 9:30.  I knew a dry spell was coming and that was probably a last yahoo! before it started.

And I suppose I am okay with a dry spell.  Which is strange  But then I am perusing Match.com and did a double take when I saw a guy I dated several months ago.  The dates ended because an "old love interest" stepped back into his life.  Apparently the love interest was escorted out or stepped out again.  I stared at his profile and wasn't quite sure what to do.  I sent him a wink and "favorited" him.  Is it a sign?  I am hoping so.  After the dates stopped, I had a strange feeling he would pop up again.

I believe we are/were a good match but I wasn't in a good place at the time.  Maybe he wasn't either but I know I wasn't.  But now I am finally getting back to normal and maybe Cupid felt it was time to shoot the arrow again.   It could be a sign but then again it's just a profile on a dating website.   But I am hoping it's a sign.  A chance for us to explore what I thought we were starting before.  Then again, I've got to be okay if nothing happens.  Sure, I'd be disappointed and I'd have to pretend I never saw his profile.

There is a good thing from checking out the profiles on these dating sites, including the ever popular Tinder.  I have gotten good at calling out the fake profiles.  The ones that are frauds and have stolen other photos to use as their  profile.  I caught someone using a photo of a captain or major in the army, then another using a picture of a well known speaker.  Maybe  I need to be a PI on the side!!

Maybe when people ask me this question: "How come you are still single?  You're attractive intelligent, amazing, and creative."  My answer should be, "I'm overqualified."

I'm Christina.....and I'm Dating and Afraid!  Y'all have a great week.

Rule No. 45: When you fall down, you have to get back up

So the quote is "If you fall off a horse, you climb right back on."  When a ice skater trips after attempting a triple sow cow and falls to the ice, they get right back up...and picks up where they left off.

A break-up or the end of dates with a guy can hurt like the burning of a curling iron.  At first, the pain can be really intense.  It doesn't really go away without some sort of treatment.  When it happened for me, I let myself have a good cry.  I cried on the way home from my work out.  I cried once I got home.  I thought that crying was the so called protocol for something like this.  I let myself have 2-3 days to wallow and relive the moments we had.  Then I dried my eyes and took control of the situation.  I somehow felt empowered with the fact I made the choice to take my life back and have "me" time.  Instead of dwelling on what could have been.

Since this blog is about my dating obstacles, and adventures, and being honest with those obstacles, it's been a bit awkward.  Awkward entering the dating scene, and sometimes uncomfortable.  The whole idea of dating can be daunting to say the least.  The first time out of the gate is never really pretty.  It may start out strong and exciting and all.  I know I was giddy and excited each time I had a "first date."  Then reality sets in and it becomes exhausting.  Sleep is lost, games are played with the mind, etc.  When this happens, first thing expected to do is throw in the towel.  I know....I've said it way too many times.  I told myself, "I was fine before all this mess.  I was doing fine before this dating nonsense."

I thought about taking a break and taking a "man-cation" or hiatus from dating.  I felt like I was getting burnt out and doubting my own awesomeness, so the best thing to do was eliminate dating. Take time and take care of me.  Resolve some personal issues.  And I have made some big headway.

Then I decided, the longer I take a hiatus from dating, the harder it will be to get back on the horse, enter the scene.  So, here I go again!  Grab the saddle, and climb back on.  If not now, then when?  I know what I want.  I have learned something from each date I've been on.  This last one left a lasting impression with me. I won't say I feel it or sense it, because I don't know what's coming around the corner.  I will say I have a weird feeling that comes and goes that I will hear from this man again.  I believe God and Cupid are somehow conspiring on something.

Even if I am ready, or think I'm ready, unexpected surprises are sure to be part of the plan.  There are days when I again relive the times that were shared, the conversations, everything shared.  Then I have days when I feel like I am on fire!  Like I want to Woman Up (in the words of Meghan Trainer). This time, I ask myself questions:  What am I willing to handle?  What am I willing to invest?  ...and then Must I follow those dreaded rules?

I have always had an idea of what my ideal relationship would be like.  And not dredge up the past again, but the last one was a pretty good match....while it lasted.  I realized the clearer I am with myself, the easier it will be to spot.  I once thought I knew what my ideal partner would be, but I am revisiting my vision and tweaking it a bit.  To be honest, I need to tweak how I react, respond, and act when things come up.

One thing I've been told over and over is I need to fall in love with myself first.  That is something I'm working on.  I need to realize how awesome I am already and  don't "need" a relationship but instead desire one.   I've also gone back to my routine for myself and have been much happier.

So although I haven't fully climbed back on, I am preparing myself. I have to  remember these things: I am braver and more courageous by putting myself out there....that alone is a victory.  The more practice I get, the better dater I will be.   If I don't try, I'll never know what's out there!

Rule No. 30: Just nod and say okay.....

Patti Stanger, you know the woman who says she's a third generation match maker, has this quote and now for the life of me, I can't remember word for word.  It goes something like everyone deserves love but not everyone finds it.  I'm beginning to think that's me.  I know, I know, I've only been in the dating game for a short time compared to others, but good lord, how many strikes does it take?  I really thought this last one had potential.  I guess men are all the same in some respect.  They all play the same game, just with different rules or strategies.  

I was hoping to explore something with the latest interest.  I mean, all the signs were good.  He asked the right questions, said the right things.  Made me feel special.  So what could have happened in a week?  We go from a great time last week, him saying he wants to see where I live, wants to see who I am, exhibiting great potential to lack luster texts the last few days.  I know he's busy and probably tired from work.  I presented the opportunity and his response was less than what I was expecting.  I keep telling myself that the phrase "I would love to, but already have plans...." means he cares enough to respond.  It was short notice.

My friends do not like to see me unhappy, and probably do not know how to respond, so they say the only things that come to mind.  Those darn, boring single people cliches.  After a while, you just go numb.  Then there's that dreaded ball.  There's a court out there somewhere covered in these balls. Can't you just pick it up and do something with it?!  Among all the dating disasters, there was just ONE guy who had the adult attitude to tell me there was no chemistry.

This rule applies to a couple of situations.  So, my hopes were burst by this guy sending me a text basically dumping me....ending whatever may have started.  What was I supposed to say to this lengthy text?  To be the bigger person, I just replied with a thank you for being honest.  Just nod and say okay.

The other situation is when I decide to, for the hundredth time, to give up.  It's exhausting and I have too many things going on in my head to keep up with another set of game rules.  I'm tired of trying to figure you out.  Tired of wondering what's going to happen.  Tired of hearing those words, apparently meaning nothing.  What do y'all want?  Why won't you get in the game and do something?

So I just ask that my friends nod and say okay.  Don't follow it up with a cliche, all purpose statement.  Ugh!  I am so tired of playing these games. I am not in my 20s or 30s anymore.  I do not understand how my friends did this!  So, if any single guys are reading this, don't worry, I am not going to be flirting, trying for anything, etc.   You can come out of hiding and heave a sigh of relief.

Ugh!

Rule No. 20: What you found attractive at 20 or 30 is not the same at 45

There was a Diet Coke commercial about 9 years ago with a shirtless guy in it.  You know the one....with the women standing at the window watching the construction worker take off his shirt to show of his six pack.  It's funny how a movie like Magic Mike brings on girls' nights around the world.  Sure those guys are beyond good looking.  But I realized something this past week. 

Like any woman, I find any guy with a six pack attractive.  And at age 20, maybe even at 30, that would have been the first thing I look at.  I mean, at that age, have we really formed a list of what we, as women, look for in a potential partner?  

This last month I met a great guy......through an online dating app.  I was actually on it for entertainment because I was feeling down.  We started texting and had a phone call before we met. After talking to him and meeting him, I found him to be a great guy.  We had a second date when he returned from a business trip.  Since then, we've discovered more about each other and he's proven to be one that wants to get to know me.  He's asked questions that made me think, "Huh, he really wants to know more about me."  

I have shared more with this man than I have with any other guy in my most recent dating history. And it's amazing how comfortable I feel with him.  I think one of the signs that he was genuine and wanted to know more was when he told me not only was I outwardly beautiful but inwardly as well. That meant a lot to me.  And I know he wasn't just saying that to get something in return.  

I also noticed he has, so far, just about everything on my list that I look for.  We've joked about that. He's also told me he's gotten off the dating app and cancelled his subscription.  Some people say that's huge.  It could be an important step......even so early in the relationship.  You know, when you start seeing someone, you often wonder if there are other women in the picture.  Is he dating not only you, but several at the same time?  This guy has told me he's the monogamous type person and doesn't date several at one time. 

After several failed one date wonders, and short lived relationship, I must say this guy makes my heart flutter.  I can't wait to see him.  Knowing he likes me.  Yes it is still fresh and new, and I am trying to remain cautiously optimistic, but I see potential in this one.  

The things that attract me to a man these days are so different than what I found attractive 20 years ago.  As I went reviewed my list, I moved some to a "nice to have" list.  If he can make me laugh and feel special, then he's a 10 to me.  He doesn't have to have the buffed abs, six pack, or 6' frame. 

I look forward to seeing where this new adventure takes me.  Is it a relationship yet?  Not quite.  Do I want it to be?  Yes.  We have spent quite a bit of time together.  I've met his two teen age kids.  We've had about 4 dates.  I have to sit on my hands as not to over think everything.  It is different for every budding relationship at what point do you call it one.  Some know after just a month, it takes awhile for others.  He does not want to rush anything.  And although I find myself wanting to spend more time with him the more I am with him, I know it takes time to build something.  So stay tuned.  

This girl is dating and afraid!

Christina 

Rule No. 40: Once the ball is in his court, you can't touch it.

After having many one date wonders, I thought why chase after something that's probably not there?  I often have friends suggest I do this or that.  Text this.  Email that. Wait for him to do this.  What!?  No.  Really?  Their reply is "Then the ball would be in his court."  Ahh!  The dreaded ball! I told my friend the ball usually gets tossed to someone else's court or just stays there.  Do guys really know when the ball is in their court?

This last week I took a chance and got out in the wicked weather to meet a guy.  He sounded so nice on the phone and he made the effort to get out so I thought why not.  I thought the date went well. He made me laugh and we seemed to get along.  I mean he told me he liked me.  There was mention of a second date.  I am the literal kind.  I am going to believe someone when they tell me they like me. When someone says "we know where our next date is going to be" and "I'm looking forward to it too," I believe it's genuine.

History suggests that women let the men pursue them.  And I believe that.....I will admit that I like to be pursued.  I like the fact a man may think of me in the morning and send me a text.  Or anytime throughout the day.  But in today's world, women find it hard to let go of the proverbial ball and let it drop.  I know I do.  Although I like the guy to do the "leg work," I also feel like sometimes I need to nudge it along.  I've been told that's not the way to do it.  The ball is in his court and if he wants to pick it up, he will.  Sometimes I feel they pick it up but don't necessarily know what to do with it. Interference with the age old dating game is frowned upon.   In fact, the ritual of dating is quite ancient that has not caught up with modern times.

I suppose some of my moves could be construed as intrusive.  Maybe it's because on one hand I like the mystery of not knowing his true intentions.  On the other hand, maybe it's the benefit of the doubt and the fact he's busy.  I understand men like the chase.  I sometimes wonder if the chase can be different depending on the man.  What I think I do right is apparently wrong!  Wrong wrong!  So this guy and I texted through yesterday.  And now today nothing.  I know, I know.  It's only been one day, but doubt starts to set in.  When in truth, reading the dos and don'ts, he decided he wasn't interested.

So yet another one date wonder goes down in the books.  I've had quite a few of those.  I do much better when a man is upfront and owns the fact he is not interested.  I don't do well with the mixed signals.  I read in an article to think of dating as ballroom dancing.  Follow a man's lead and you'll never lose.  I guess that would explain my lack of success since I can't dance worth a flip!

Here's to over 40 dating and afraid!

Christina

Rule No. 35: If you are working to get him to notice, then he isn't the one

I think I've been told EVERY single person cliche known to man.  I finally just asked my friends to nod and say "okay" when I make a resolution to throw in the towel.  After a while, being told over and over again the right one is out there, it loses its meaning and seriousness.  Sometimes I think they tell me those lines because words fail them.  Maybe they really want me to know that "my guy" is out there.  

After telling a girlfriend about someone I was interested in, she told me that if I have to work at getting someone to notice me, then he isn't the one.  If I have to work at starting the relationship, then he isn't the one for me.  The flirting, smiles, and glances should be fun.  Not shake my head complicated.

When I was on the online dating circuit, men would message me....ONCE, but then I was the one trying to continue the conversation.  I finally learned that I lost the sparkle effect and the men moved on to the next one.  I will be honest and say sometimes it took a few unanswered messages to get the hint.

So starting this dating blog was for me to share my poor dating stories and lessons learned.  Okay, so I guess just jump right in with this story.  Let's start with the Officer.  I saw/met this guy just two times.  My impression of people are usually spot on.....give or take a few missed gems. There was small talk both times but the second time he actually remembered me from the initial meeting.  I thought nothing of it but let him know how good it was to see him.  General thanks reply.  At that point, I chalked it up to a blow off.  Then out of the blue he asks for my number.  This is when the teenage me took over, squealing because we like him.  I give him my number and then crickets. Literally you could hear crickets if it was quiet enough.   Why ask me for my number then do nothing to follow through?  We texted but it was small talk  I sent him two texts, then I stepped back.  What was I doing?  It was time for me to walk away.  Nothing had even started and yet I knew it was time to just surrender.

Actually Southern Boy was the first one when I realized it wasn't worth continuing to let him know my interest.   He showed up at a race of mine........didn't even mind that I wore a tutu.  I didn't even mind I was in a tutu meeting him for the first time.  This man had done something most men forget these days.....he actually called me in the days prior.  I can't remember the last time I had a phone call from a man.  He sat with me and my friends who did the race with me and ate breakfast.  In the days after, the texts and calls were few and far between.  Granted the distance between us probably was an issue.   I sent a text here and there but realized if he was still interested he would have texted or called.

A new relationship should be fun.....the ease of texting or talking, the flirting, the giggly vibe I get when I really like a guy, and the smiles and him wanting to text you.  I shouldn't be the ONLY one initiating a conversation.  I am learning that if after a few messages, the man doesn't feel a spark or interest, to just walk away.   On good days I tell myself something I saw once.  I should be the one he chases not let get away.  And I also tell myself another one will be along any minute.

Till next time,
Christina

Rule No. 25: Know when to walk away

"Every woman who finally figured out her worth has picked up her suitcase of pride and boarded a flight to freedom which landed in the valley of change."

Where should I start?  For some, to walk away is effortless.  Others, it takes courage and dignity to walk away.  After losing about 100+ pounds, I thought I was ready to enter what can be a tumultuous dating scene.  

And yes I've dipped in the pool of online dating.....several times.  I had a girlfriend convince me Tinder was the new thing.  How could it hurt?!  I mean her sister met her husband on Tinder.  It took awhile for me to get any matches.  It took even longer for a conversation to start.  Out of a handful and a half of these matches, had maybe 5 semi-normal dates.  Each one ended in the guy walking away.  Friends told me what kind of app it really was, but I wanted to hold out hope.  I even believed the guys that fed me lines like "Sure, I'd like to see you again.  I wanted to see you again even if I had just kissed you one time."  I went out on a limb and told one or two I really liked them and did they like me.  "Sure, I like you.  And yeah I want to see you again.  Gotta get to that third date."  After my fifth and final stint on it (by this time it was a game for me to see how many matches I could get....yeah guys, I can play the game too!), I simply walked away.  

I gave the online dating sites (Match, Our Time, and POF) the benefit of the doubt and tried them again.  Again, received matches, likes, and emails but it never went anywhere.  I even had a a guy not have the balls to tell me he was not showing up or that he wasn't real.  It was only after my friends told me that he wasn't showing up, he was an hour late.  A little sad and curious, I walked away.  I must have gullible branded on my forehead.  

More recently, as hard as it was, I had to walk away from someone who was a wonderful person.  I had to make a decision.  Sometimes it's not always that easy to walk away.  I've had to make that decision with two other guys.  And I probably messed my chances up earlier and when I realized this, they were both with someone.  Part of me tried too hard but the other part convinced it was to walk away.  They weren't chasing me as I walked away so I knew it was a one way street.  I probably should name this one way street after myself..I seem to travel it a lot.  

I tell myself sometimes that I am a catch and not the one guys should chase not let get away.  But at the same time, I can't help but think there's something I'm doing to make them run.  I'll be 45 in June. And I'll be brutally honest. I've never had a long relationship,  or never been married.  I've walked more times than I care to.  I'm tired and need to sit down.  

Christina 

Rule No. 50: Can't blame a girl for trying

Ugh!  So you catch a guy looking at you across the room or he gives you this eye contact you've never seen before.  I mean, you're blushing at the intensity of his sexy brown eyes.  So you decide to make a move.  But the delivery of the move is not without its glitches.  Yep that happened to me!  Not just once, but more times than I care to count.

It started in high school and the tone was set for any subsequent failed attempts.  In high school, the student body usually helps you let the object of your desire know you're interested.......and not in a good way.   I just happened to set my sights on the most popular guy.  I thought he hung the moon, after all I was just 14 years old.  My attempts as a teenager were different than they are today. However, my first act of being "ballsy" (as a woman put it today) crashed and burned.  I called this guy and invited him to my birthday at the Hard Rock Cafe.  Remember those?  His reply was something like "We are friends but not best friends.  It wouldn't look right."  What?!  I wasn't asking the guy to marry me but back then those words punched me in the chest.  I hung up the phone and went to cry.

I have always wondered what it is that I don't have.  When I was heavier, I knew it was my weight. And the fact I didn't feel good about myself.  Yet, when I went places and saw a handsome man, I looked at him with eyes of a thinner person.  Wishing he would only look at my face and not past my neck.

Maybe I try too hard.  But there's the old adage, you never know unless you try.  Sometimes I would rather let it be a mystery and just hope I interest him.  Because knowing is the worst part.  Once the truth is out there and it's not good, the wheels in my head start spinning.  Did I smile too much?  Was I not small enough?  Hair was the wrong color.  Okay, so I haven't been married or have kids, but they do not realize what storm God had me walk through.  What was it that didn't get the interest of the guy?

With smart phones and social media these days, figuring out if a guy is interested in me is harder...unless he owns up to it and actually is honest with me.  I've had a few of those.  And while it was disappointing, the guy being honest was appreciated and in the end, mutual connection may not have been there.  It's much harder trying to detect interest through texting and messaging.  At what point do I give up when the guy doesn't respond to the text/message?  I will own up to it and say I have been known to text too much.  It's a learning process......give me kudos for trying.  And when the guy stops texting altogether you know it's because he's not interested.  I try to have a brave face and think of the quote "The other one will be along in a minute."   But the other one never shows up.

It takes all the courage I have to text/message a guy.  At least I try.  I've crashed and burned more times than I care to count in the last year.  I am beginning to think my delivery has flaws in it.  I had a guy tell me I was messaging the wrong ones.  After he said that he disappeared.  What was that?! Was I supposed to catch that?  Listen, I have been single all my life, just in the last year have I had actual dates. There has to be a learning curve.  He now has a wonderful person in his life.  It's sad to think that if I had tried a little harder, it could have been me....possibly.

I am taking baby steps, putting myself out there, learning how to navigate.  Learning that boob pics (not mine) get more attention than my smile in pictures.  I am learning how to deal with small talk texts meaning just that.  But you still can't blame me for trying.  Everybody needs love.....it may take some of us just a little longer to find.  And some of us (like me) are not really wanting till someone is placed in front of us.

Rule No. 15: There are no rules

So if you've been following my other blog about my weight loss journey.....Glitter All The Weigh.....then you know the last 2 years have been a whirlwind.  While losing the 200 lbs, I was introduced to the single life and dating after being out of it for soooo long.  Although I was getting dates, I was getting them the wrong way.  But it was a lesson that took me time to learn.

My dating misadventures were sprinkled through my weight loss blog.  But I decided to stat a blog dedicated to just that.  Just in the last two years I have been out on more one date wonders than in the previous 25 years of my life.  Some have been wonderful and then others I almost wanted to say "Seriously!"

During this last year of exploration and allowing myself to be who I want to be, I was thrown into the world of men finding me beautiful, but having hidden agendas.  I am not used to the attention, whether it be in the meeting room of Weight Watchers or coming from a strange man.  That was one of the main lessons I had to learn.  Men know just what to say to a woman to get her to believe whatever he says.....as this woman did.  After just about every meet and greet (what I call the first date), I would come home and google everything the man did.  What does it mean if he did this?  He said this, what does it mean?  I was beginning to think dating and being single was going to be too hard.....too many rules to follow.

I asked a friend I went to school for some input from a man's perspective.  He said there are no rules. Then why is the web filled with them.  If he wants a second date, he'll ask for one on the first or within 3 days.  If he's interested he'll text you no matter what.  Never be the first one to text after a first date.  Ugh!!  He did confirm that if a man is interested he'll text no matter where he is or what he's doing.  Then I had girlfriends contradict this rule.  I didn't know what to believe anymore.

If you have followed me on Glitter All The Weigh, I hope you follow me on my new blog.  It'll be anything but boring I can assure you.  And maybe you can offer some advice.  I have more stories to share but this post has gotten long enough so off to start another one.

Christina