Ugh! So you catch a guy looking at you across the room or he gives you this eye contact you've never seen before. I mean, you're blushing at the intensity of his sexy brown eyes. So you decide to make a move. But the delivery of the move is not without its glitches. Yep that happened to me! Not just once, but more times than I care to count.
It started in high school and the tone was set for any subsequent failed attempts. In high school, the student body usually helps you let the object of your desire know you're interested.......and not in a good way. I just happened to set my sights on the most popular guy. I thought he hung the moon, after all I was just 14 years old. My attempts as a teenager were different than they are today. However, my first act of being "ballsy" (as a woman put it today) crashed and burned. I called this guy and invited him to my birthday at the Hard Rock Cafe. Remember those? His reply was something like "We are friends but not best friends. It wouldn't look right." What?! I wasn't asking the guy to marry me but back then those words punched me in the chest. I hung up the phone and went to cry.
I have always wondered what it is that I don't have. When I was heavier, I knew it was my weight. And the fact I didn't feel good about myself. Yet, when I went places and saw a handsome man, I looked at him with eyes of a thinner person. Wishing he would only look at my face and not past my neck.
Maybe I try too hard. But there's the old adage, you never know unless you try. Sometimes I would rather let it be a mystery and just hope I interest him. Because knowing is the worst part. Once the truth is out there and it's not good, the wheels in my head start spinning. Did I smile too much? Was I not small enough? Hair was the wrong color. Okay, so I haven't been married or have kids, but they do not realize what storm God had me walk through. What was it that didn't get the interest of the guy?
With smart phones and social media these days, figuring out if a guy is interested in me is harder...unless he owns up to it and actually is honest with me. I've had a few of those. And while it was disappointing, the guy being honest was appreciated and in the end, mutual connection may not have been there. It's much harder trying to detect interest through texting and messaging. At what point do I give up when the guy doesn't respond to the text/message? I will own up to it and say I have been known to text too much. It's a learning process......give me kudos for trying. And when the guy stops texting altogether you know it's because he's not interested. I try to have a brave face and think of the quote "The other one will be along in a minute." But the other one never shows up.
It takes all the courage I have to text/message a guy. At least I try. I've crashed and burned more times than I care to count in the last year. I am beginning to think my delivery has flaws in it. I had a guy tell me I was messaging the wrong ones. After he said that he disappeared. What was that?! Was I supposed to catch that? Listen, I have been single all my life, just in the last year have I had actual dates. There has to be a learning curve. He now has a wonderful person in his life. It's sad to think that if I had tried a little harder, it could have been me....possibly.
I am taking baby steps, putting myself out there, learning how to navigate. Learning that boob pics (not mine) get more attention than my smile in pictures. I am learning how to deal with small talk texts meaning just that. But you still can't blame me for trying. Everybody needs love.....it may take some of us just a little longer to find. And some of us (like me) are not really wanting till someone is placed in front of us.
It started in high school and the tone was set for any subsequent failed attempts. In high school, the student body usually helps you let the object of your desire know you're interested.......and not in a good way. I just happened to set my sights on the most popular guy. I thought he hung the moon, after all I was just 14 years old. My attempts as a teenager were different than they are today. However, my first act of being "ballsy" (as a woman put it today) crashed and burned. I called this guy and invited him to my birthday at the Hard Rock Cafe. Remember those? His reply was something like "We are friends but not best friends. It wouldn't look right." What?! I wasn't asking the guy to marry me but back then those words punched me in the chest. I hung up the phone and went to cry.
I have always wondered what it is that I don't have. When I was heavier, I knew it was my weight. And the fact I didn't feel good about myself. Yet, when I went places and saw a handsome man, I looked at him with eyes of a thinner person. Wishing he would only look at my face and not past my neck.
Maybe I try too hard. But there's the old adage, you never know unless you try. Sometimes I would rather let it be a mystery and just hope I interest him. Because knowing is the worst part. Once the truth is out there and it's not good, the wheels in my head start spinning. Did I smile too much? Was I not small enough? Hair was the wrong color. Okay, so I haven't been married or have kids, but they do not realize what storm God had me walk through. What was it that didn't get the interest of the guy?
With smart phones and social media these days, figuring out if a guy is interested in me is harder...unless he owns up to it and actually is honest with me. I've had a few of those. And while it was disappointing, the guy being honest was appreciated and in the end, mutual connection may not have been there. It's much harder trying to detect interest through texting and messaging. At what point do I give up when the guy doesn't respond to the text/message? I will own up to it and say I have been known to text too much. It's a learning process......give me kudos for trying. And when the guy stops texting altogether you know it's because he's not interested. I try to have a brave face and think of the quote "The other one will be along in a minute." But the other one never shows up.
It takes all the courage I have to text/message a guy. At least I try. I've crashed and burned more times than I care to count in the last year. I am beginning to think my delivery has flaws in it. I had a guy tell me I was messaging the wrong ones. After he said that he disappeared. What was that?! Was I supposed to catch that? Listen, I have been single all my life, just in the last year have I had actual dates. There has to be a learning curve. He now has a wonderful person in his life. It's sad to think that if I had tried a little harder, it could have been me....possibly.
I am taking baby steps, putting myself out there, learning how to navigate. Learning that boob pics (not mine) get more attention than my smile in pictures. I am learning how to deal with small talk texts meaning just that. But you still can't blame me for trying. Everybody needs love.....it may take some of us just a little longer to find. And some of us (like me) are not really wanting till someone is placed in front of us.
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