So what did I learn from the second and final time with Match guy? Well, I learned that talk is talk and until there are actions, lips are moving, but they lie. I realized he probably doesn't know what he wants. I gave myself two days of tears, shouting matches with friends and wondering what's wrong with me. Then I got up, dusted myself off and moved on. The time wasn't right for me in the summer, and so maybe the time wasn't right for him now. Whatever, the reason, he's still a coward for not being honest with me. Expressing himself.....even if it was in a negative way.
I signed up on EHarmony. They now own me until July. The first few weeks twelve matches were presented to me and I sent smiles to every single one. Probably a bad move on my part. One guy reached out and we met for a beer. Awkward. Not crickets awkward, but when you have to think of subjects to talk about, there's a problem. I wasn't feeling it and neither was he. But, he didn't have to complain about the drive to The Woodlands. You can bet if a guy gives me the option of picking a place, he best be ready to drive to where I am. So now the match(es) trickle in. One a week.
And unlike before, I do not have a weird feeling Match guy will show back up. Well, I did for a fleeting second when my friend and I walked/ran the 5K this past weekend. I thought, of all times, this would be when I see him. But nope....as my friend said, on the plus side he wasn't there. She said on the plus side because I left my fitbit at home and wasn't able to count those steps! I think maybe God wanted to prove something to me. I still believe in his timing, although right now I am not liking it. I guess He allowed Match guy to come back only to show me he wasn't the right one; maybe for now or ever. After thinking about it, he lacked some of the things I like to have in a mate. A good communicator for one.
I reactivated my Match profile and am debating whether or not to subscribe to read the 38 emails. I am sure, like my neighbor, some of them will be scammers, or ones that aren't my type. They could also be the little automatic replies saying the man doesn't like "winks." Send a message of substance. Whatever!
Then there are the eggs in my basket. Apparently I need to have several baskets with eggs in all of them. I am using this time to take the boyfriend weight off. The weight of not one, but two, boyfriends! And I'm having success so far. I know what will happen, just in time when I finally get to my happy number, I'll meet a great guy. I'll get all giddy and more boyfriend weight will go on. But that's a post for my Glitter All the Weigh page.
I do miss the hand holding. The feeling I have when I see him (general use of course). If I really like a man, I get a certain vibe and look forward to hearing from him and seeing him. I miss the small kisses that seem so normal.
I am not so much soliciting advice from strangers anymore. Really, there's nothing to solicit for. And if I keep it up, I won't have many friends to follow on Facebook. There are days when I really don't want to read about some one's guy or "love" cooking them dinner. Or how they're the best boyfriend ever. So I unfollow them. Just for a while. I deserve to be happy just like them. I have not had the guy that texts just for the heck of it. I have not had that guy want to talk to me in the middle of the day so he calls on his way home from work.
There have been a few guys that I follow on Facebook that say they want their last first date and will they ever find her. I want to throw up my hands and shout, Yes! Here I am! I want that last first date. If they would just take the time to get to know me. Beyond the non-existent boobs and non-Barbieesque figure. I am a great girlfriend. I am not demanding. I don't care if you have guys night. Because I need girls' night! I understand about children. I wouldn't expect to be put above them.
Not sure how long till my next date. Could be weeks. Could be months. Whenever it is, you can be sure I'll post about it. And I'll be Dating and Afraid!
Christina
0 comments:
Post a Comment