I
realize I came late to the dating game. I did not wait or read for that matter for the game rules.
I jumped right in and started playing when I should have read up on the
what to do and what not to dos. To say the least, it has been a shocker
over the last year or so.
Most of my dates have been from online dating sites with a few from meeting in a group. The good and bad. Not sure if it's my lateness to the game or what, but I am realizing all conversations somehow lead to one word or subject: S-E-X. Ugh! It's done so sneaky as well.
This woman I know is also dabbling in online dating. She recently had a date who, after only talking with her for a short time, injected that word. Where does it say that after talking to / knowing a man for 5 minutes, he can bring up that?! She had no problem telling him she felt uncomfortable with that conversation. They still met but once he realized she was not contributing to that conversation, she noticed he was less than interested in the rest of the evening.
I recently talked with two men who brought S-E-X up pretty quickly. Okay, so I knew the first one probably wouldn't go anywhere. He actually was a 50 shades kind of guy! Not sure if it was the deep voice or what, but I found talking to him quite intriguing and interesting. And to his credit, not all the conversations were about that! But just as mysterious and sometimes alluding as the character himself, the man vanished. Ghosted me. Not too bummed about it. Although I liked hearing that deep masculine voice say my name. The second one stated in his profile he wanted to start out as friends, build something. He wasn't in a rush. Soon after we exchanged numbers and texting started, so did the subtle sexual innuendos. I tried to steer the conversation in a different direction. And while it worked at certain times, it always seemed to circle back around. He told me things that really fell in the TMI category. My steering was unsuccessful and he also disappeared.
I've heard dating is to weed out the good from the bad. Well it appears
all I've had are weeds. Even the one who I thought was a good catch was a
weed. And I shouldn't admit this because the friends reading this will shake their fingers at me, but he's crossed my mind lately. Not sure why.
Just like certain fashion generations are coming back, why can't
dating go back to 1980? When there were no cell phones, no texting.
People actually talked and got to know one another before clothes came
off. I remember even in the early 1990s I met a guy while working at Weiners and we used the good old land line. There was no mention of favorite positions. Of course, it didn't work out. Apparently he was a serial dater and I was at the end of a long line.
I've constantly read about the 3 date rule before even venturing into anything sexual but maybe there needs to be a 3 (or more) text rule before it's brought up. If truth be told, if I'm chatting / messaging with a man whom I'd like to build a relationship with, it becomes a turn off if he constantly talks about his stamina, how everything I say sounds sexy or requests racy pictures before we have our first kiss. But I'm realizing apparently that's the norm these days.
A seemingly normal man reaches out and thoughts of being courted, dates, and no sex talk until the right time fill the mind. Then it happens. I realized that there's nothing traditional or 1980s about online dating. So if there's a guy reading my blog, you might ask when is the right time? Hopefully you know that the first date, or even messages BEFORE the first date is not appropriate.
However, one could look at online dating this way; the profile's purpose is to offer a peek into what may be their personality. A "take it or leave it" approach. If so, then I'm going to be choosing the latter option until I come across one that is mature enough to hold off on letting me know his favorite position or that he has incredible stamina. And as always, I'll be....
Dating and Afraid!
Christina